At some point I turned into a caffeine fiend, again. I probably could (and will) support a coke habit with the amount of money I’ve been shelling out for my mid-day coffee breaks lately. As a result of this I have become scarily efficient and finished my duties for the next 8 days. I’ve been dicking around the internet and came to a realization, my life is not nearly as ridiculous as it should be. Solutions:

Remember about a year ago when it was Chad’s bday and I was trying to find a group activity to do that surpassed skydiving? Remember when I found that company that would give us group trapeze lessons for relatively cheap? Remember when you guys all scoffed and laughed and told me I was an idiot/asshole for even suggesting it. Well, I do too, and I’m still pissed about it. What else are you doing people! Just learn to trapeze with me. Give me one weekend for christ sake.

Also, remember when we were all going to get our foid cards and go to the gun range and then Chad was the only one that did and we all told him how creepy and typical conservative republican he was. Well he does too, and he’s pissed about it. Come on, it would be soooooo funny?

Also also, remember when you scoffed and laughed and called me an asshole about the trapezing and then I found that company that would teach us to sail and you all complained about how poor and boring you all were. Well fuck you, let’s lock it in for this summer. The champagne’s on me.