On the subject of gym membership:

I joined XSport. The day I went I had to join with Tyler because all the salesman were busy. Everyone kept walking by and apologizing that I couldn’t be with a salesman, but how at least I got to talk to Tyler! Tyler will take care of you! Everyone loves Tyler! Tyler was relatively attractive. I told Tyler to save the spiel and that I was going to sign up regardless. Then he made me go through this mandatory list of questions designed specifically to make you feel bad about yourself. When we got to the question, why do you want to join a gym, I said, “So I don’t become a fatty.” …….Crickets….. On to the next question. Tyler doesn’t like jokes. I found out he was the personal training coordinator seconds after I ranted about how useless and unnecessary I thought personal trainers were. Off to a roaring start. On Sunday, he called me to make me feel bad about how I haven’t gone to the gym yet. Tyler is an asshole.