Last night was our anniversary. We transitioned from dating an insanely long time to an obscenely long time. We went to my favorite restaurant in the whole wide world, Bonsoiree. Just go already, it is fantastic beyond reason.

I’m having a New Years party. I have 4 weeks to badger and debase Chad into buying ridiculous and absolutely excessive party favors. So far we have already invested in outdoor heat lamps and coupe champagne glasses for the most epic champagne tower possible. And, this just in, I have recently come into possession of a machete that I will definitely be using to do that crazy sabering trick. 2010 here I come. Everyone's invited.

My office feels like guantanamo bay right now. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I have heard the chorus to KC's "There Goes My Life" over and over and fucking over since 9 am. I honestly can't handle it. I am going to rip my eyes out.