Beware the Ides of March?

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*Rebecca is returning from her 5 and a half long epic adventure all over Africa and India. Monday we have plans to meet the infamous older man, Kurt. 

*Quinne is supposedly starting a new blog. Oh, and she's moving back to Chicago. 

*Ness, Maggie D, Ashley and I are going to make t-shirts, get insanely high, and attend the Navy Pier taping of Wheel of Fortune March 8.

* Chuck is in a Depaul fashion show that we are going to make t-shirts for, get insanely high, and attend March 7.

*Every Thursday starting next week I get to play Big Lebowski. My summer kickball league has started a winter bowling league.  Bonanza City, the obvious choice for our team name, will consist of Maggie, Ashley, Chad and Israel, with Drew as an alternate/athletic supporter. Expect domination. Maggie bought a wrist aligner.

*The Polar Plunge. Chad and I and accompanying loyal friends (I'm hoping I can convince the skydiving crew to come in a grand scheme to start an adventure club of sorts), will stop, drop and roll into a frigid Lake Michigan sometime in March. Hypothermia ain't got nothing on me.

*March 9. Otherwise known as the South Side parade. I cannot wait to indulge in condoned unabashed alcoholism for at least 11 hours. Hopefully, Maggie won't orchestrate half cup sangria flip cup the night before and have 40s taped to her hands the next morning, and maybe, just maybe she will pick up one of my 8,143 calls and come along. 

*There are currently negotiations going on to record Eric Clapton in London. !!!!!!!!!!!!! No one is supposed to know that though, so keep your dirty mouths shut.

*My company paying for 100 percent of my health insurance, which will be useful when I inevitably pass out drunk with my contacts in while wearing liquid eye liner and my eyes swell and I look like a muppet.

*Run-on sentences/useless information.

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*Stevie Nicks.

* Nutrition? I went home for my daddio's birthday last week and consumed about half a bowl of gin soaked raisins without realizing it before my mom berated me for eating her new "arthritis remedy" that it took her 2 weeks to make.

*The biggest loser. At work, everyone wants to lose weight, which has resulted in 8 of us being split into two teams, an elaborate spreadsheet being made charting our progress, weekly weigh-ins and "constructive" criticism from co-workers every time I order a sandwich instead of a salad for lunch. Joe, sensing failure on our team's part because he hasn't completely started trying yet and I drink every night has since been giving the teams other competitive endeavors, including the wunderlic test. As far as I can tell, there is no incentive other than pride. 

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*Catering to rock stars.

*Working 11 hours a day, including Saturdays.

*Excruciating pain. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but Saturday I decided to wax my legs. I don't recommend it.

*The fucking commuting + the fucking snow.

*The lack of dogpound meetings. I think Speers is afraid to face me after his little chili incident.

*Speers' little chili incident. Scrubbing layers of excessive amounts of chili puke out of the only carpeted room in my apartment on my birthday while black out drunk was not a good capper to the night. And now I can never eat chili again.

*The postponement of my Presidents' Day Party due to everyone (Chad/me) being too busy (lazy) to partake in another all-day party. Truthfully, I think we outdid ourselves on Kimbowl. It's an intimidating standard. Although, I do have quite a few tricks up my sleeve involving red, white and blue jello. As we previously purchased 100s of american propoganda party favors, strangely enough mostly acquired in Chinatown, we are now planning on having it revolve a primary or something. We are allowing people to come as leaders from any country, mostly because we enjoy ridiculing Brian for looking like Mahmoud Ahmandinejad when he sports a beard. And also because Chad desperately wants to go as Mikhail Grobachev. Jacob has also been making claims of a flamboyant sexy eagle mascot kind of get up, so it should be a fun cast of characters. I, of course, will be Jackie Kennedy. Who better to host?

*Maggie won't take me to the boom boom room tonight.