Good vs Evil

I went to Disney World for the first time awhile back. No one made me aware that the World Showcase was America's most expensive bar crawl. In Norway, while waiting for the Maelstrom this little lederhosen-clad pussy informed us we couldn't keep double fisting our Spatens in line. So I exited and did what any normal person who had recently imbibed 8 beers would do: chugged. As we walked back in line mere moments later, he put his hand up, "Can't go in." Chad raised his empty hands and he let us through confused. I hiccuped, glanced back and said "You did this to me." He chortled, "Sure." Then a clap of thunder struck, followed by lightning and torrential rain. Cause and effect? Unprovoked, he escorted us to the front of the line. Epcot was the only park we drank at, but suffice it to say, we DRANK. We got so drunk in fact, that we resolved to dry out a little and only drink one day a week from then until the end of March. As I tend to only associate with drunks/substance abusers and only seem to partake in drinking/substance abusing it has been rather difficult. I broke last night right before a craigslister/murderer swung by my house to pick up some box springs. I just needed a beer, you know? One of those days. The craigslister/witch was a small, fragile, stupid lady and we wound up carrying them down our stairs for her. I bent weird and suffered horrendous back spasms for the rest of the night and now I can't move without wanting to scream. Chad blames this on me falling off the wagon. I'm more of the philosophy that no good deed goes unpunished. That's the last time I give anything away for free. But fuck it, the whole neighborhood smelled like BBQ and no one was wearing a jacket for miles. It might only be 50 degrees, but as far as I'm concerned it's summer, and summer is for loving life and drinking on your porch.